The results are in...

Well four weeks of sweating my arse of at the gym and the sad truth is there isn't much to show for it. I've only lost 3kg and 1.5% of my body fat. I was sure I was sweating at least that much out in every session. There was also an improvement of two points on my fitness test, but I'm not really sure what that indicates. Anyway my new program has been written and I'm still motivated to make this work. The next period of the plan goes for 8 weeks. I'm not going to weigh myself til then so we'll see how it goes...

Nearly a week...

I can't believe it's nearly a week since my last post. In a way I'm not surprised. All I have to report is that I'm working hard and still going to the gym. Tomorrow night is the 4 week assessment, so we'll see how that goes. Stupidly, tonight I went out and had kipsaté and a few (too many) beers - tomorrow I'm probably going to have to weigh in and do that fat test. Good move!
Anyway on a high note, two of my favourite shows have returned to television...

The Amazing Race and Survivor

(photos from respective websites on CBS.com)

It's easy to forget.

"It wasn't until much later when she started noticing signs. Nothing big at first. Little things, small hard-to-read clues left for her to see. Some name calling in school, a comment from a perceptive teacher, and the fact that all his friendships were with girls.

Then the anger came. Not hers, his. She watched as her sunny, luminous kid was becoming burdened with dark silence, afflicted with rage. She could feel the blinds coming down on the windows of his soul." Read more... (Excerpt from Shades of Grey)

Reading this I remember how lucky I am to have the family I have. While they are all amazing in their own way, my Mum is special. She has taken all that life has thrown at her; which has not always been easy - in her stride. If she is pained by all that she has endured, she hides it very well. She is strong and maybe she has just come to accept things as they are. I miss her, I miss them all. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am.

Fear of Embarrassment.

Without a doubt I am embarrassmentphobic. I could theorize for hours on why I am like this. I guess my father's treatment of me as a child has something to do with it. The truth is I will go to any extent to avoid embarrassment. Tonight I was at the gym. Tonight I was leaving the gym. The man working in the cafeteria said goodbye. I turned to respond politely. I turned back to walk on. I knocked over a sign. A sign of a matching pair. The sign stood about 1 meter high. It fell. It landed hard on the ground. It made a loud noise. The people waiting in the cafe all turned and looked at me. The looked hard and fast. The top of the sign smashed and broke off. I focused immediately on the ground and the mess I had made. I ignored the people sitting in the cafe. I ignored the barman. I could feel the heat of everyone's stares piercing my reddening flesh. I picked up the top part that had broken off. I placed it down on a table. I focused on the ground in front of me. I walked out. I walked strong and in denial. Now I am worried. How will I show my face there again? Will everybody remember me? How could I not even say sorry. Embarrassment turns to guilt. I know this will keep me awake.

Now I'm Motivated.

Well at least I know where my gym fees are going. Tonight we had a live DJ to work out to. Added to this were free fresh fruit kebabs and RedBull! What more could you ask for?!?! Since I know what was going on, I must still be going. Correct at least 5 times per weeks since joining. I don't really see any change yet and of course being a very results oriented person - IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!

Where were you on 9/11/2001?

Five years on I still very clearly remember that day. I was sitting in an Internet Cafe on Cricklewood Broadway, Cricklewood, London. I remember never being so unsure in my adult years about what was going on around me. I remember watching the images of that plane fly over and over again in to the Twin Towers. I remember wanting to go home to Australia so badly, but being horrified by the thought of getting on a plane. How would I ever get home? Today, I see it as the day the modern world changed... A day that divided the world...

What's hot with the new house?

I'm really liking the belcony on the new house...
Benefit 1: Drying clothes outside.

Benefit 2: BBQ

Wedding on Mars.

Tonight was my bosses wedding. It was in Ouddorp, so quite some drive from Rotterdam. Here is the privileged bunch that got to attend. This is us standing on the road to nowhere. We had difficulty finding the car after we left the party. It was dark and there were paths everywhere through the dunes. Needless to say - We Survived!

Then dance - just don't be a bitch!

Last night I really was an asshole to Greg and of course I was just venting from the vile day I had at work yesterday. I really am a bit ashamed. There's no excuse. I think I had better buy a punching bag. To try and make up for it, I made dinner reservations for our favourite Turkish Restaurant - Dunya. I realised however while I was eating my dinner and drinking my Duvel, that I was benefiting too and that shouldn't have been the case. I guess it only leaves self flagellation.

I Just Wanna Fucking Dance!

This is so my theme song today!


Right now I'm wishing that my work permit had been rejected. I hate being made to feel small and today one of my colleagues managed to do that big style. I struggle often with my job. The market research industry is what I would describe as rather manic. It operates in a perpetual state of chaos and this chaos becomes the way of working, the norm. To be honest I prefer order and I think I operate best in a more systematic and ordered environment, but what I can't tolerate is being made to feel small so that someone else can progress themselves. Of course in a style true to me - I never stood up for myself and right now I am sitting here at home feeling angry and frustrated, but less than I did when I left work - those gym workouts are useful for more than just losing weight.

Crikey!

This morning I woke up to find that Steve Irwin aka Crocodile Hunter had been killed. Sometimes I found his over the top nature to be a little embarrassing and a little too Australian. Occasionally I feel that Australia is very uncultured and backward and well maybe it is. Is that something to be embarrassed about though? The fact remains Steve was a great Aussie export. He did a lot to put Australia on the map and no doubt he did wonders for the tourism economy. I was reading the messages people had left on the BBC website today and they made me feel quite sad - click here to read them. Maybe our lack of culture is indeed our style of culture. None the less it seems to be well received in most places around the world and being Australian has my travels easier in many respects. Australians have been well regarded wherever I have traveled and people always want to hear a story about life in Australia. I guess we have Steve in part to thank for that.
(Picture from BBC Website - In Pictures: Steve Irwin)

Moving is doing my head in...

Tired of unpacking and setting up house we decided to go for a walk, try out a new bar we'd not been to before and have a few drinks. On the way I saw this piece of art - very freaky. I can't really imagine hanging it on my wall.

There's no place like home!

I'm really not one for moving house. I find it very unsettling and stressful. I also didn't know how much I had become attached to my house, seeing it this empty feels very strange. I have such good memories of this house with family and friends. It's hard to say goodbye. The new place is really nice. I'm sure with time it will feel more like ours. For now I just have a new house. Not a home!

How can it be?

We're moving house this weekend. When we arrived in Holland just over 12 months ago, we arrived with two Kathmandu 80 ltr rucksacks and two tea chests - now we have all of this... Not to mention all the kitchen things such as pans, wok, cutlery, glasses etc. Oh and then there is the sofa, TV and the list goes on. Well at least we got a new house! Rotterdam, well Holland in general doesn't have the best market for renters to find somewhere fast, but we did!

The Ideal Workout!

It's a week now since my gym program was arranged by the trainer. Since then I have worked out in the gym 4 times and been swimming twice. Strangely enough I'm still feeling quite motivated. I've not even had an alcoholic drink since Saturday. My legs are suffering a little. The last 15 minutes I have to do on the bike is always rather torturous. If only working out could be this much fun!

Draadjesvlees

I had dinner with my aunt tonight. She cooked my new favorite Dutch meal. It takes some time to prepare, but it is so very worth it. Eets makkelijk.

This dish has very few ingredients so they should be of high quality. Your beef should be not too lean (nicely marbled with fat).
Two other secrets to success: the flavor of the gravy depends on your patience while browning the beef. You really need to do this very, very slowly.
And one other thing, do not be tempted to add any other aromatics. This dish is about the pure flavor of good beef.
Perfect with brussel sprouts, green beans or braised red cabbage, and mash or steamed potatoes to soak up the lovely gravy.

500 g stewing beef
75 g butter
2 bayleaves
2 whole cloves
salt and pepper

Leave the slab of beef whole or cut into chunks, whatever you prefer.

Choose a sauteeing pan that will accommodate all the pieces of beef lying flat. You are going to brown the pieces for a long time, so it's not very practical to do it in batches.

Make sure your beef is at room temperature, and season it with salt and pepper.

Melt the butter in the pan over moderate heat. When the foam is subsiding slip in the pieces of meat. Now brown them slowly over moderate heat until they pieces are deep brown and the butter is a dark golden brown. As long as the heat is not too high, the butter won't burn. Allow at least 15-20 minutes for the browning process.

When it's browned, I like to transfer the pieces and the butter to a pan that is not as good for browning, but better for braising (like a Creuset). But still make sure the pieces of beef are lying flat in a single layer.

(If you are making a larger amount and the beef cannot ly flat in the pan, just add enough water to come almost to the top of the meat. Your gravy will be more watery so it might be good to reduce it when the beef is done)

Now add the bayleaves and cloves.

Add lukewarm water to come almost to the top of the beef. Turn the heat to low (best to use an asbestos mat or something) cover, with the lid very slightly ajar (I use a lid that has a small hole in it) so that some of the steam can escape, and simmer for hours. 3 hours is good, 4 won't hurt.

By that time the meat should be so tender that it falls apart into shreds (draadjes - which is where it gets its name, draadjesvlees, thready meat).

(Recipe and photo from Recipe Gullet)

Friday Night Madness

As usual Friday night drinks took place at the private work bar. Normally it is slightly more sedate than this night turned out to be. With only 9 people in attendance (many people were at a work BBQ), how could things go so wrong. Here's a little scene from the madness that overtook us. Yes they are glasses of water being thrown over people and you can't see it so well in the video, but the floor is covered in water.





Mixing tequila and beer is not really a good idea. It was comforting to know however, that I was not the only person who found refuge in wrapping themselves around the toilet bowl both on the Friday night and Saturday morning to expel the contents of my stomach. Personally I blame the man in the following video who was in charge of the bar that evening.

I can't shake the desire to...

It was this photo that sparked off my recent battle with the concept of fatherhood. A couple of years back the parents of this very cute, little guy asked me if I would be interested in assisting them to have a child by way of a small donation. I wanted to, I really did, but I declined. Why? At that time I thought I would be going back to Australia and well, I don't know how I would handle having a child, my own flesh and blood living on the other side of the world. For one it would make for very expensive visits. Every second weekend may be a problem and I want to be a part of my child's life - if I ever have one. I've been asked again twice since then and I came very close to saying yes again. In fact I did say yes and then later declined. It was a very difficult decision. I'm of the opinion I would make a good dad, I couldn't be any worse than my biological father. Maybe I want to make up for his mistakes. The reality remains, I'm maybe a little too selfish to have my own child. Unlike my dog, I can't just leave it with my Mum when I decide to take off on another worldly adventure. I can't just leave it crying when I'm hungover after a big night out and don't want to get out of bed. I can't just leave it with a friend when I am doing overtime at work. But I know I could love, provide for, care and support a new life to explore this amazing world we live in. A little part of me to go on after I am gone. This is why I can't shake the desire to be a dad.

Fast Food - Asian Style.

People think anything is possible in Holland, but look what's happening in the Orient - Dog based junk food using the McDonalds branding - Mmm lekker eten!
(Photo courtesy of funny.co.uk)

The transformation begins...

Tonight I had my fitness assessment to set up my new gym program. It's confirmed, I am a fat ass! Anyway, the program is set and tonight I took my first work out. I think it nearly killed me, especially the 15 minutes on the treadmill. I've made a committment with my trainer to do 4-5 visits per week. I hope I can stay with it. Actually I will stay with it - I have to. Not to mention, I think beer will have to fair a little less popular on my menu.
(Picture courtesy of funny.co.uk)