Sunday, October 29, 2006

My hangover...

won't go away. Therefore there is only one thing to do!
I'm off to the pub. Bottoms up!

Happy Halloween!

This year despite hating to dress up with a passion, I made some effort to make a costume for the Halloween party we attended last night. Well, I had to make some effort as it was being hosted by Americans and they love Halloween. Anyway I decided to go as one of the 'the others' from Lost, but by the end of the night when everyone was a bit more pissed that got a little too difficult to explain, so on advice from Greg I just said I was a castaway.

Anyway it really was a crap costume, but at least it was better than just going as me - which maybe I should have done, as I am pretty scary. Greg on the other hand looked quite cute in his 'Leeuwhosen' especially later in the night when he decided to wear a cowboy hat!

Well the party was a big hit and continued on until the wee small hours of the morning. It was also the end of day light savings, so we got an extra hour of partying. Finally we got home this morning at about 5.30am. Needless to say we woke late feeling a little sorry for ourselves... As my mother would say though - "I've got no sympathy for you..." It was fun though - for more pics, you can check out the gallery on our website - click here.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Celebrating Dad's Birthday.

Well today is my Dad's birthday. Days like this really remind me of how much I miss being at home. Even worse I know that on Sunday everyone is getting together to have lunch and celebrate. I don't feel like I'm missing out, except on Mum's cooking, but I do miss being with them. Anyway tonight my aunty and I decided to celebrate in our own way! After a long, long week at work it was nice to chill out with her and have a chat over a few (too many) drinks. Anyway Dad - Gefeliciteerd!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

How well do you know your geography?


Click here to find out...
(I only scored 6/10 - and people leave me in charge of thier children.)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sunday Roast.

After last nights China Boat cruise and despite being out until the early hours of the morning, Debby was still up early to prepare a Sunday roast. For some it was a good hangover cure, for the rest it was enjoyable to spend a Sunday afternoon eating more good food and enjoying each others conversation.
That's an interesting way to serve the wine.

The food is prepared.

The table is laid.

The food is ready to eat.

Eet Smakelijk!
Everyone enjoys their meal.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

China Boat Birthday.

Tonight we went out to celebrate Debbies birthday which was on Wednesday just gone. 12 of us set sail on the China Boat for a three hour cruise along the river Muse and a chinese buffet. It was a very enjoyable evening. It really is quite relaxing just watching the world (or ports of Rotterdam) pass you by. I think it would have been just what the doctor would have for a chilled evening out. Added to that Debbie also had a great night out. She and a few others went on to party away the wee hours of the morning at O'Sheas, but I thought it best to go home to bed - it's going to be another long week.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Misery!

I really don't want to end up old and lonely, but I think if I keep complaining as much as I do at the moment it will be inevitable... So here is a little bit of misery from me to you...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Waking up in Amsterdam.

It was an early start today.
Wake up - 0545hrs
Leave house - 0630hrs
Catch train - 0702hrs
Arrive Amsterdam - 0810hrs
Training all day...
Arrive Rotterdam - 1910hrs
Home again - 1930hrs
Vegging out on sofa all night.

Monday, October 16, 2006

It is as bad as it looks...

Well I don't think such an ugly picture has ever been taken of me. At the time it was a little posed - what you think I'm that ugly naturally? Funnily enough though, it quite sums up how I am feeling today. Again, another round of questioning and complaining from the boss. I was hoping after our last chat we might have found our place in the pecking order - maybe there would even be some healthy respect. I guess not. I'm plankton and he's a whale - this I know.
I would just love a fairy godmother to step in and make all of this ok. How else do you survive when your best just isn't good enough? How do you get everything done, when there just isn't enough time in the day? How do you show that you're giving 150% and that if it isn't good enough, you don't know what else to do? How do you avoid taking pictures this horrible again in the future?

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Party at the Palace.

Emmanuel turns 30, so that's reason enough to celebrate! I guess that's also the reason behind my head being a little sore this morning, but it was worth it for a fun night out. We went on a bit of a pub crawl, which did include The Palace nightclub. We hadn't been there before and I was quite shocked at how large it was. I've not really been to a large club in Holland and well mostly the bars are quite "cosy". The other surprise of the evening was that despite Emmanuel not having drunk for 9mths and deciding to celebrate his birthday, it was Andreas who brought the evening to a close when he got a little sleepy after one too many, and there was me thinking it would be Emmanuel.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

When good times go bad!

If you play with guns, somebody is bound to end up getting hurt: Read more...

Friday, October 13, 2006

Bowling, Beer & BBQ.

Yesterday was Paulo's birthday, so tonight we went out to celebrate.

First there was bowling.


Next there was beer.


Then there was the BBQ.
(Well there was a lot of food, which was cooked by us at the on table BBQ, but it all got eaten.)

Oh and finally there was birthday cake.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I couldn't do it anymore...

I feel that the cost of a hairdresser in Holland is highly overpriced. For the past 6mths or so, I've been a proper tight arse and always had my hair cut at the kappersacademie. For €8.90 you can't complain or can you? The kappersacademie is the school for people who are training to be hairdressers and I have to say, I think my hair has been proof of that. Anyone who knows me, knows how precious I am about my hair and well I couldn't take it anymore. Sure I may have been saving more than €10-€15 per hair cut, but is it worth it for all the stress? Unfortunately not! Anyway I have done my civil duty. I'm sure there are a few future hairdressers who will be much richer in experience for cutting my hair, but my hair is going gray enough - I don't need another reason for it to get any worse. Now it's back to the professionals and I think the results speak for themselves!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Little White Duck.

Last week,
a little white duck,

a duck I had never seen before,

appeared new.
New, on the canal I pass each day.
Today I saw her lying dead.

Away from her flock.

Alone.
Cold and on the road.

It must have been a car,

or a tram that brought such a tragic end.

I guess this little white duck,
is a duck that I will see no more.

Friday, October 06, 2006

I am not a door mat!!

I thought today was going to be difficult even before it started. Yesterday I was training at the new call centre in Amsterdam. During the day I received a number of calls from people in our team saying that my manager was again going crazy at us. He was shouting and generally treating people like shite again. They said I was lucky to be away, but to expect that he would target me upon my return.
went to sleep last night and I woke up today thinking about nothing other than how the conversation would run. I played it out over and over in my head. It was driving me crazy. I had checked my email last night from home and saw an email from him with all his complaints, along with a meeting schedule for 9.30am this morning.

My walk to work was filled with anticipation. Would he shout at me so much again that his face would be the colour of blood and saliva would spray from his mouth? I had no doubt that unless he had been sedated with valium over night this would be the case.
When I arrived at work I printed out the email he had sent me and I sat there for half an hour writing my rebuttal to his arguments - most of which I have to say were just a load of rubbish. Normally he speaks to me in such a way that I am totally confused and I never say half the things I meant to. Today however, I was going to be prepared. If he started speaking to me like a filthy door mat one more time I was going to walk out of the office and not speak with him until he could do it in a civil manner.

9.30 arrived and I entered his room. My breath was shallow and I had a knot in my stomach. The last time anyone had ever spoken to me with such rage as he did, was when my father used to shout at me for some reason or another and that was usually right before I had my hair grabbed and was lead to my room like a badly behaved dog.
I sat down and it wouldn't have been more than 30 seconds before he started making crazy remarks and allegations about my performance in my role.
It was totally clear at this point that the control freak actually had no idea what he was talking about. That in fact, he has paid so little interest in me that he doesn't really know what I am doing. He never admits to the fact however that I do it all on my own, with no support from management. That I actually do some things really well and never receive a pat on the back. I only ever hear when they are dissatisfied with something and generally that is most of the time - so why not do it your fucking self if you can do it so much better!

His faced reddened and I could feel what was coming. I sat there and I began to listen, I started to recoil into my submissive position and then as if I were a spring shooting from a box, the minute he took a breath I launched in with my rebuttals to his comments, but it didn't stop there. I put forward my argument for every comment one after another that he had made in his email. I never gave him a chance to speak. I had to take some control of the situation.
Now it was my face that was going red. Not red from anger, but red because I felt so nervous about what I was doing, but I couldn't stop. My face went so hot. Beginning in my neck and working it's way up. Eventually my face was so flushed and hot that my eyes went a little watery, but I went on. I explained why I thought his arguments were unfair. I said my piece and I made my story very clear. I've been working crazy hours for this man with not one bit of thanks so I was not going to be spoken to like shite again.

The conversation ended some time after with him confessing to have "maybe" not communicated as effectively as he could. He then tried to make some lame jokes to lighten the mood before he told me it had never been his intention to "bollock" me - yeah right!
For one little moment I had a victory. For one little moment I was king. I had obviously used being well versed in the English language to my advantage and I walked out of there with a smile on my face. A smile which represented that I felt a little pride in myself for once, because I knew I was right.
Needless to say I have no doubt he will be up to his old tricks again some time soon, but today was my day...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Struggle...

I'm feeling really low at the moment. I know it is work that is causing it, I'm working fucking 12 hour days again and they really take their toll on me. I'm also making sure that even when I leave work at 8pm at night I'm still going to the gym. I have to keep up keep going or I will lose momentum and I won't make the change that I am so desperate to make. I really made a promise to myself last time I got in this situation with work that I wouldn't do it again, but I don't know how to make a difference. Greg said to me "... just don't work the hours your doing, what can they do about it? You're only contracted for 40 hours per week..." It's so much easier said than done though. When there is only you to do it all, who do you have to fall back on, who do you have to take some of the pressure off of you? If it's not done today then it's just waiting for you again tomorrow and so is your boss - ready to scream at you like you're a fucking mangy dog. I'm not sure how someone with such appalling management skills can be running such a successful company, but I guess it's because people like me - make it right. We fill his pockets with all that money that allows him to drive a BMW and take 3 week long vacations in posh villas in France. Ok he might work long hours also, but he really benefits from it. It does frustrate me that in business, the workers, the ones who make most of the money see so little of it. At the end of the day would more money make this better anyway? I guess a little.. However when you're tired, when they days are getting shorter and the rain sets in, you're bound to feel a little blue. Right now I just feel like going home and getting a big hug from my Mum, getting drunk with my brother, arguing with my sister, hanging out with my other brother while not drinking or smoking and getting some solid advice from my Dad - even if I don' always act on it straight away...
Here is my misery song of the moment... "Fix You" by ColdPlay.


When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Monday, October 02, 2006

Too Freaky!

I didn't think the "Dancing Baby" was real...